Eric's Beijing Diary

Becky, one of the waitresses at the coffee bar tried to give me a special birthday treat tonight. She wanted to order in a bowl of rice porridge. But the coffee bar wouldn't let her bring in something from outside. So I had to settle for a carmel latte. Somehow, I managed to muddle through, as Churchill would say.

Fifty-three years old. Can you believe it? Of course I cannot instantly recall every one of the birthdays I have logged over the past half-century. But I do have a sense for the kinds of feelings that birthdays evoke, and how those feelings have slowly changed with the flow of time. Strange how the passing of the years brings a yearning for the other side of the river. Don't get any ideas, I'm not going anywhere just yet. And I have not lost my passion for life as opportunity. But I have less and less worry about all the things one might miss when the time comes to leave this life behind.

The other day, I was listening to a preacher describe the crossing of the river from Pilgrim's Progress. Great literature though it is, it did not diminish my distaste for death. I hate death. So the process is not any more appealing to me now than it ever has been. But the prospect of being finally free from all the superficiality of life in this present evil world seems more and more appealing all the time.

But I have stuff to do. After he survived the shooting by John Hinkley, Ronald Reagan said that he felt he was living on borrowed time, and that he rest of his life must be dedicated to doing that which God had spared him for. I identify with Reagan's sentiment in this sense: As the years pass, there is a growing conviction that the remaining years must be focused on what is really important and worthwhile. A realization that the great can so easily be edged out by the good. That an understanding of God's purpose is as important as knowledge of the skills needed to perform whatever job one might be blessed with.

I am a believer. That means that I believe in God. But it also means that I look at the future with an underlying sense of optimism, daring to believe that what seems impossible can be accomplished if we just put our minds to it. Extraordinary miracles have often happened to very ordinary people just because they dared to believe it could be. So I resume the journey with a renewed sense that God has a purpose for my life, and that the resources needed to accomplish that purpose are already provided for me, and will be fully available for me to pick up and put into use when the time is right. Life is purpose.