Eric's Beijing Diary

DAY TWO

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.(Proverbs 18:22)

It's not always easy to read these words. I fear marriage more than I fear death. But it's hard to avoid the subject, especially if you are a single person living in Asia. Sichuan Canyon, 7:30 am. Incredibly beautiful morning. The sky is pure blue. The sun is up, but I can't see it yet, because I am sitting in the canyon surrounded by jagged peaks. The tops of those peaks are glowing in the sun's rays, but I am sitting in the shadow and a little chilly... I'm back. I hiked further up the canyon to a spot in the sun. It is impossible to describe the peaceful serenity of this canyon. A few birds singing their morning songs, sheep bleating as they are herded to their grazing spot for the day, and shepherds calling to each other across the canyon. These sounds do not disturb but actually accentuate the serenity of this peaceful place.

But, again, as I contemplate the above mentioned scripture, I am puzzled. You know, it is actually quite easy to be a single person in China. Yet, there seems to be built into Asian culture, a belief that singleness is an unstable condition the only solution for which is marriage. It is much more difficult to be a single person in America. Yet in America, there is little, if any, pressure to get married. It's just assumed to be no-body's business.

In China, or perhaps I should say, in Asia, the issue cannot be completely avoided. People want to know. A kid came up to me in McDonald's and asked about my family. I told him I had three daughters, so he asked him about my wife. I told him I didn't have a wife. "How can you have a daughter without a wife?!" It's a fair question, of course. China is going through a lot of changes these days, but in matters of family, it's still pretty traditional. I have been in China for over three years, now, and I have never seen an unwed mother. Doubt if that kid has, either.

But it's more than just that, of course. After all, we are not created to live alone. Proverbs says that the man who lives alone rages against sound judgement. But what does this mean? Does this mean that if I'm not married, I have to have a roommate? I certainly don't think so, but the Bible does seem to indicate that we are not supposed to live in isolation. We are called to live and function in community. By community is not necessarily meant a communal lifestyle, but at least a life that includes regular interaction with others.

So while I would have to reject the notion that all people are supposed to be married, it is at least true that all people are supposed to live in community. God does call us apart for periods of time, but he does not really call people to be life long hermits. Even John the Baptist, who lived as a hermit for awhile before his public ministry, was called to a life of constant interaction with lots of lots of people. After all, he baptized the whole nation of Israel. But where would Israel be if John the Baptist had allowed his life to be molded and shaped by the pressure to get married and have a family. Or how different may have been the plight of the homeless of India if Mother Teresa had continued her job as a high school teacher in Eastern Europe?

"Father, please show me the balance. Help me to live my life to serve you. Lord, I pray that my decisions would be made with a view to your purpose--founded on what is good for your kingdom. Father, I cannot really say that I am lonely, because it is rather difficult to be lonely in a place like Beijing, but I do sometimes wonder if I am supposed to be continuing the single life. I pray that you would give me wisdom to know your ways. Please do not allow my need to get in the way of my ministry."