Reflections on a Wandering Life.....

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Just Married 

Saw this sign when I got to the little coffee bar where we usually have our Sunday afternoon Bible study. The place was booked for a wedding party, so we had to go downstairs. Struck me funny, but it seems strangely appropriate for China. So many people tell me of the pressure they get from their parents to "Just Marry."

Young ladies everywhere are interested in finding "Mr. Right." So I guess you could say that the internal pressure is the same everywhere. It's universal. But family pressure to get married is definitely much stronger in China. One result of this pressure is that young church women are often tempted to marry someone who is not a Christian just because the young gentleman in question (and they really are gentlemen) is a nice guy with a good job.

The problem with this is that they enter into a relationship with the unrealistic expectation that they are somehow going to "Christianize" their husbands. It's an unreasonable expectation, of course. People don't just start believing something because someone they know, even someone they love, wants them to. These women are not being fair to themselves, and they aren't being fair to their husbands, either.

I don't think I have ever told a young lady that she was marrying the wrong guy. But more than once I have told one of these very well meaning sisters that they were getting married at the wrong time. I am convinced that many of these young men would have become Christians if the young ladies they loved had stood firm, each showing her man that, although she really loves him, God must always take first place in her life.

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