Eric's Beijing Diary

Beidaihe, on the Bohai Sea, used to be the favorite summer resort area for high-level communist officials. I had planned to make a side trip to Beidaihe after my trip to the West this summer, but I discovered just before I left that the Software College was planning a faculty retreat to Nandaihe at the end of August, so I cancelled my plans and decided to go with the flow. We holed up at a small resort hotel about a ten minute walk from the beach. In China, usually if there is a beach that is swimmable, it is very crowded. But this one was actually quite nice. Yesterday, we took a bus to Shanhaiguan, where Wu Sangui, the Chinese general opened the gate and let the Manchu's through the Great Wall, putting an end to the Ming Dynasty. The Manchu's (Qing Dynasty) ruled China until the Revolution in 1911. Near Shanghaiguan, is the place where the very tip of the wall meets the Bohai Sea. All of these places are in the vicinity of Beidaihe, which, as I said, is the former favorite summer get away for Party leaders. During Mao's time, there was a special Friendship house for visiting Russian diplomats. Because of this, there are still a number of Russians who come here every year, and you can still see lots of signs in Russian.

Labels: Dynasties

Sitting here in the Casablanca with a tuna sandwich and a cold beer looking out over Houhai Lake. Beijing is starting to cool off, now. Perhaps I should have stayed out west about a week longer, but I had so much stuff to do before school starts--stuff that didn't get done anyway because of my virus problem. But that's life. After the middle of August, the fever starts to break. It is still hot during the day, but not so terribly humid, and the evenings are cooler. Today it is really nice. I think if I came back about the 20th, I would pretty much avoid the summer swelter.

Talked with a friend of mine who works for Symantec. He said Symantec is thinking about setting up a monitoring center in China to monitor Chinese viruses. Good idea. Maybe that will make it a better system in the future, but for the time being, I am going to stick with Kaspersky. I really don't blame Symantec. They can't make money in China, because so much software is pirated. So I can see why they don't want to invest a lot of research money into this country. But I don't think they have much choice. If they don't get on top of the situation pretty quick, they are going to be largely irrelevant in China.

Oh, man! I hate viruses! I stupidly used my USB flash disk in the Internet bar in Langmusi, and picked up a host of viruses. One or more of them actually shut down my system. I couldn't boot windows. Today, Eason helped me to clean my hard drive and reinstall my operating system. In addition, I took the opportunity to install Kaspersky, the Russian anti-virus software. Up until now, I have used both Mcaffee and Symantec. Most recently, I have had Symantec on my system. But in China, Symantec is just not up to the job. Truthfully, I never used anti-virus software on my personal computer before I came to China. I rarely had trouble with viruses, because I just didn't let them in. But in China, it really is not possible to survive without it. So many systems in China are not protected. And they seem to be getting worse. Up until this year, I had never been hit with a virus less than two years old. But several of the viruses I got hit with now were first discovered several weeks ago.

Several months ago, I managed to get the Runauto folder virus from a local shop where I do my printing. (I know, I need to break down and buy a printer.) The Runauto folder virus is a Chinese virus that Symantec doesn't know about. It doesn't seem to do much, except that it creates a folder on your drive, which harbors other viruses that Symantec can see, but cannot delete. Maddening. I finally managed to find some information about it on a Chinese web site. I ran the page through the Babelfish translator to get the gist of the information, and did the fix myself. But it took me two or three days. I tell you, it's weird when you have a virus turning off your registry and your Task Manager. I would execute the command to reactivate them (a registry hack I found on the Internet), and the virus would turn them back off again. Really irritated me--that virus sitting there like a little demon laughing at me every time it reversed the command I had executed. But I finally managed to kill it. This time, I was not so lucky. But my students have been telling me I need to put Kaspersky on my system for some time, and I have been procrastinating. Still not sure if they like it so much because it is really that much better, or because they can go online and get free license keys. But they say it is more aware of Chinese viruses. We'll see.

Lhasa-Beijing Express. Much easier getting a ticket from Beijing to Lanzhou this time, mainly because of the new Qinghai-Tibet railroad. Basically, it means that there is an extra train from Tibet coming through Lanzhou and proceeding on to Beijing. Passengers who get off in Lanzhou leave room for people like me getting on at that point, which means that there are more berths available than there were last year, when the only seats available were on the Lanzhou to Beijing run.

Actually, I am not really qualified to make the comparison, because I didn't go to Beijing last year. Last year, I took the train to Qingdao, instead. But there is no question that the Lhasa to Beijing run has opened up spots, because I was able to walk in last night with no connections and buy a soft sleeper ticket for the next day. That is a bit unusual.

I didn't go to Tibet this year, because of the trouble. In May, some foreigners when to Everest and unfurled a flag that said, "Free Tibet" on it. That moved the government to clamp down on individual travelers. Basically, foreigners with a valid visa can travel anywhere in China, except Tibet. To go to Tibet, you need a permit. And the permit is only offered to tour groups. What that means, in simplest terms, is that you can't go to Tibet unless you are part of a tour. I really don't like tour groups, so I don't want to go to Tibet until I can figure out how to get around that restriction.

Left the village after lunch today. The problem with catching a bus from the village is that there is no regular bus stop, so you have to flag down the first one you can get. I don't like being in that position, because in rural China, there are busses, and there are busses. Maybe I shouldn't say "rural China," because I have seen this phenonenon all over. But it does seem to be more prevalent in the countryside. The phenomenon I speak of is the difference between regular runs where you buy a ticket at the ticket window, and get on the bus, which stops at prescribed places for a predetermined period of time, and the fly-by-night outfits, who recruit passengers, then leave whenever they get enough passengers to fill the bus, and if they can't quite fill the bus, stop along the way, and try to get more, and keep stopping and waiting until they are full. I hate those. I have learned how to avoid them. But when you're in a country village with no bus station, you are out of luck. Took five hours from the village to Lanzhou. Last year, I happened to get lucky and flag down a regular bus. Three hours that time.

Not sure what the future holds for Jessica's summer school. She has not been able to get a job yet, because she went to a teacher's college, but not a regular four-year program. She doesn't have a bachelor's degree. Not sure exactly how it works, because in America, the teachers' colleges (like the one I went to) are all regular accredited colleges or universities. Anyway, without a bachelor's degree, Jessica may have trouble getting a regular teaching job. This is rural western China, so she can certainly get a job in some remote village, but the pay will be only a couple hundred RMB a month. Frustrating position to be in. But there is no question about the fact that she has been a very unique asset to this community.

Wow! This new hotel Jessica lined up for me is pretty nice! Technically, it's the new village guest house. But it is much closer to an actual hotel in a city. Never mind that they put me in a room that hadn't been cleaned. The shower actually works!

I managed to switch busses in Hezuo without too much trouble, and got here to the village at about noon. I had picked up some little trinkets for the kids when I was in Langmusi, so they were pretty excited. But they didn't feel like studying, so we actually spent most of the afternoon outside. Oh, well. It is summer school after all. Tomorrow I will head back to Lanzhou and try to get a ticket to Beijing. Usually, before I head back to Beijing, I try to take a little side trip somewhere. Last year, I took the train from Lanzhou to Qingdao instead of going directly back to Beijing. But it turns out that the Software College is planning a faculty retreat at Beidaihe on the coast about a week or so after I get back, so I guess I will head straight back to Beijing and start getting ready for the fall. You know how summers are...no matter how long you manage to drag them out, they're always over too soon.

8:35 am

Bus to Hezuo. Left Langmusi this morning at 6:30 in a heavy morning fog. The sun has burned off the fog, now, and we are able to make a little time.

"Good-bye," said Florence, the friendly Hakka, as she boarded the bus the other day. "See you somewhere in the world!"

Somewhere in the world. Yes, that's about it. Where do the folks you meet in Western China come from? Somewhere in the world. Where are they headed? Somewhere in the world. Why? Let's not get complicated.

Now it's my turn to leave. So, I bid farewell the canyon, the beautiful grassland, the red rock rim, Leisha's home cooking, and the housekeepers at the dormitory who always patted my stomach and asked for a piece of my watermelon.

Every life needs time for repose. Time to reflect. Time to think. Time to ponder. Why am I here? What is the meaning of life? And why do flowers bloom? And time to pray. The reason I pray is simple. I am a believer. I do not believe the world we see around us is a meaningless accident. If you are really paying attention, you will see purpose all around you. But how do we come to understand this purpose? And why do I even ask these questions, when so many people seem not to care about such things. That, I suppose is a bit strong. They may seem not to care, but hidden in every heart is a question about where we came from, and why we are here. After all, Langmusi has two very prominent lamaseries, and a Muslim mosque. Obviously, someone besides myself has asked these questions.

"Who hath ascended up into heaven, or descended? who hath gathered the wind in his fists? who hath bound the waters in a garment? who hath established all the ends of the earth? what is his name, and what is his son's name, if thou canst tell?" (Proverbs 30:4)

Actually, everybody asks those questions. Well, almost everybody. Dog's don't. That's because animals are not created in the image of God. The noted evolutionist, Richard Leakey (son of Louis and Mary Leakey) said it this way:
The termites are capable of constructing intricately structured mounds which create their own "air-conditioned" environment inside. But the termites cannot choose to build a cathedral instead. "
Well put. Humans are different. They ask questions about stuff that animals don't care about. And if some humans seem not to care about them, it is only because they have somehow pushed those thoughts out of their minds. But somewhere, deep in the heart of every man is the question, "What is His Name, and the Name of His Son?"

Tibetan Buddhism depresses me. I guess it's because it seems so futile. I see the faithful prostrating themselves seemingly endless numbers of times, and I find myself wanting to say, "No! God is not like that! He is more willing to listen than you are to speak!" Buddhists try hard. But Buddhism simply does not have the answers to the deepest questions of life. The other night, a young monk came to my bed in the dormitory and insisted that I change the direction I was sleeping. His bed was end to end with my bed, and the head of his bead touched the foot of mine. I showed him that there was no way my feet could touch his head (because of the bedstead), but he was adamant. He said I was showing disrespect for the Buddha by having feet so near the head of a holy man. I had no concern for Buddha's honor, but I didn't want to create a needless offense, so I complied. I don't know...maybe I'm too negative. The Koreans didn't argue with him. They bought him a birthday cake. Amazing people, those Koreans. "Hi! We're church people from Korea, and we have come to share God's love!" Can you imagine? Door-to-door evangelism in an American suburb, where everyone is at least sorta familiar with church is one thing. But in a Tibetan village with two monasteries and a mosque? Gutsy if you ask me. But over and over the people of the community thanked them for bring this news.

This brings me to the most puzzling question of all. What sovereign mercy has dictated that I should be chosen to live in the light of a hope so unknown by most of the world? Why? As many times as I have pondered that question, one would think I should be at least a little bit closer to an answer. But it escapes me. There are some things we just will not know this side of the veil.

One radiant morn the mists will all surrender,
And life's uncertain shadows pass away;
When light celestial breaks in dazzling splendor
To lead my step into eternal day.

One radiant morn the mysteries I ponder,
But leave unsolved on all my quests abroad,
Shall be construed for me in fullness yonder
When I awake to sense the ways of God.

One radiant morn, when hearts bowed down in sorrow
Are comforted and reconciled above,
All pain and tears I here in anguish borrow
Shall be dissolved in fountain-rays of love.

One radiant morn, with eyes unveiled before Him,
I'll see the One my faith and hope embrace;
Within the holy realms I'll praise, adore Him,
And kneel to thank my Savior face to face.

One radiant morn, when sinless souls assemble
Where each desire is born in purity,
No more the thought of wrong shall make me tremble,
But, ransomed, I shall life forever free.

One radiant morn, in halls of home supernal,
I'll meet again the friend I here esteem,
In glory speak with him of life eternal,
And of the life that vanished like a dream.

O Jesus, stir within my heart of sadness
This vision fair when e'er I grieve forlorn,
That it may turn all bitter tears to gladness,
And lead my spirit to that radiant morn.

Last night I was talking with the guy who owns the hotel I am staying in. He is Tibetan, and I was hoping to get the straight scoop from him regarding the "war" that is going on between two Tibetan villages over a herd of yaks. I had just come from the restaurant, where the proprietors son had said that he had to pay a ransom of 1000 RMB because he refused to take part in the battle. The owner of the hotel ridiculed this idea. He speculated that it might be something the Hui Muslims (the restaurant is run by Hui Muslims, which constitute a small minority in Langmusi) had cooked up because they wanted to do their part to support the community. I asked him if he had been to the battle. He said their was no battle, just negotiation, which he had just returned from.

You know how these things go. You can't believe everything you hear, but you kinda know that something is going on, and it is hard to tell who really has the best information. Suffice it to say that village life in western China is quite definitely tribal, and a conflict between two individuals can quite quickly become a conflict between communities.

DAY TEN

Sichuan Canyon, 8:30 am......

"Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him: On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him: But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." (Job 23:8-10)

My last day in the canyon. Something in me just doesn't want to leave. But it's time to go home. Tomorrow I board the bus to Hezuo. The past ten days have been good. I don't know that I have a lot of answers, but the time for reflection has helped me to clarify the questions.

There is something healing about the beauty of nature. But after we have been to the mountain top, we must return to the valley. I like mountains. The other night, I climbed to the red rock rim on the Gansu side of town. But you know, I don't climb mountains to look at mountains. I climb mountains to put the valley in perspective. Perspective. A pretty priceless commodity, if it can be called a commodity. But once you have gained it, it's time to return to the valley. You know, I love this place, but it would be hard to live here. Mountains are stressful. It took two or three days to get acclimated to the altitude. Didn't seem to take quite so long last year. I think that's because last year I didn't know a soul in Gansu Province, so I went to Northwest Normal University and hung around for a couple days hoping to meet a school teacher from the countryside. That, of course, is how I met Jessica's cousin, who told me about her summer school. This year, I flew to Lanzhou, then took a bus to the village the next day, and to Hezuo the following day. So I got here to Langmusi three days after leaving Beijing. This altitude does things to you. This place is very beautiful, but you have to be careful not to exert yourself too much.

So anyway, I must return to the valley. The place for living. What does the future hold for China? I don't know. What is God's direction for me in the weeks and months ahead? I don't know. You know the feeling you have when you sense a change of direction around the corner, but you can't quite see clearly? What can be done about the enormous income disparity in this country. Tough problem. Do I have a role to play in the problem of rural education in China? Not sure how that would play out. What is my part in the work that God is doing in this country? These and many other questions remain. Sometimes questions cannot be answered in an instant. But conundrums that confront us somehow seem smaller when viewed from the heights. I remember years ago when I was teaching in a country school in North Dakota. Every morning before school, I would climb a hill behind the schoolhouse. Everybody thought I was doing it for the exercise, and I guess that was part of it. But my main purpose was perspective. As I stood on that hill every morning southeast of the city and looked to the Northwest, I would often ponder what lay beyond the horizon. I didn't know it then, but I was looking at China.

"Father, I don't know what the future holds. But I know that you hold the future. I pray that you would keep my heart sensitive to your voice. As I wonder my way through the problems and questions this life presents, help me to remember that you have the whole wide world in your hands. You who must personally approve the fall of every sparrow, will certainly not allow anything to come my way that would not work for my good. As I return to the busyness of the valley, help me to keep this fleeting, vaporous existence in perspective."

DAY NINE

Sichuan Canyon 7:45 am

"For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease. Though the root thereof wax old in the earth, and the stock thereof die in the ground; Yet through the scent of water it will bud, and bring forth boughs like a plant." (Job 14:7-9)

The key word for today is redemption. A couple years ago, I had invited a group of students to meet me for dinner. After class, I headed out into a driving rain with my TA. No one had contacted me, and I assumed that no one wanted to come. So my TA and I headed for a restaurant. The next day, I got an email from one of my students, saying that they had been waiting for me at the West Gate. I really felt terrible. Missed opportunity. Loss. I don't want to be morbid about this, because I certainly have memories of opportunities I haven't missed, too. But somehow they don't wipe away the regret for the situations where I have goofed up and missed the boat. So what do you do? I think the first reality we must come to terms with is that life doesn't always give you a second chance. Sometimes it does. Sometimes you go get a second opportunity to get it right. But not always. Sometimes you just have to accept the loss. But I believe, also, that it is very important to present the situation before God and ask Him to redeem it.

Many years ago, after Mt. St. Helens had erupted, blowing a cubic mile out of it's side, John and Dad and I chartered a plane out of Kelso, Washington, and flew up along the South Fork of the Toutle River. I looked down from that plane and saw a scene so unreal I literally couldn't take it in. The pyroclastic flow from St. Helens had blown down a whole forest, and burned the needles off the trees. Large earth moving machines were tossed about like so many toys in a sandbox. Spirit Lake, of course, was buried. Devastation. Death. The complete absence of anything living. It was absolutely sensational, yet completely true.

Several months later, I was watching an evening news report, and saw some pictures of Mt. St. Helens. The area was still quite devastated, but you could see where the green was beginning to reappear. Deer were wandering among the new growth. It was quite an impressive contrast to what I had seen from the air right after the disaster. But it was a poignant reminder that this universe was created by a God who is a compulsive redeemer. He loves to take what has been devastated and make it new.

Contemplating the problem of missed opportunity is humbling for me, because I cannot escape the realization that when I have missed opportunities, it is because, for some reason, I was not paying attention. And the times that I have somehow managed to "seize the day," were invariably because God had somehow put the opportunity in my face in spite of myself. In the spring of 2003, I contacted the Asia Pacific office for Oracle to determine which universities in China had a relationship with Oracle, since I was an Oracle trainer. As a result of that contact, I received an inquiry from Beihang University. I didn't even bother to respond to it, because I had planned to go to Western China. But they sent me another email a week later. I decided that it was a bit rude for me not to respond at all, since the email had come as a direct result of my original letter to Oracle in Singapore. So I responded briefly, and the rest is history.

Bottom line: Life presents us with lots of opportunities. Sometimes we take them. Sometimes we miss them. Sometimes we take opportunities we should have passed up. Sometimes we pass up opportunities we should have taken. Sometimes, life gives us a second chance. Sometimes, it does not. But even in the worst of situations, God is still a redeemer. This is the point.

"Father, please give me an ever deeper understanding of your great redeeming love. Help me to remember that you are able to make something beautiful of the worst mess I can make. Even in situations when it seems that there is nothing but loss, you are able to restore and make new what has been ruined and wasted. Please, Lord, help me to determine to present my missed opportunities to you in faith that you are willing and able to redeem even when I have failed to walk through the door you had opened."

A guy from Nanjing told me today that the battle involves two or more different communities and each must contribute the men from that community. Men who refuse to take part in the battle will be required to pay a ransom. He told me that there had been a battle involving about 400 people, and that one person had died. I am quite sure there is a conflict of some kind, because there are signs of it around town. But can you picture a scene where 400 men are fighting with knives, and only one person dies? I am skeptical. Not sure what the real scoop is.

DAY EIGHT

"He will deliver even those who are guilty; they will escape becuase of the cleanness of your hands." (Job 22:30)

I cancelled my hike to the canyon this morning because of the rain. But I saw Florence, the energetic young Hakka brushing her teeth when I got out of the shower. I asked her where she was going so early. She told me that she and her friend were going to hike the entire length of the canyon.

"In this rain?"

"We have no choice. It's our schedule."

I hate schedules when I am travleling in the summer time. Naturally, there are ultimate deadlines that anyone is going to be subject to. But I guess I would have to say that my summer trips are defined by the things I choose not to see. "The eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing." You can't see everything. It's more important, I think to take one day at a time, and let things happen. I see so many people taking vacations that are so exhausting, I cannot imagine how they can resume their work without a good long rest. They need a vacation to recover from their vacation.

But Florence's determination motivated me to grab my umbrella and head up the canyon with them. I got to the place where I usually have my prayer, and told them I was going to go back. It was raining pretty steadily, so instead of staying there, I headed back toward the Buddhist prayer cave at the opening of the canyon. But as soon as Florence and her friend disappeared from site, it stopped raining.

Concerning my prayer journey, I thought perhaps I was done yesterday. Once you have understood your role in the all important mission of bringing people closer to God, what more can there be?

But I woke at 3:30 this morning with a new thought. Intercession. The story of Noah is a powerful example of how one's man righteous life can spare him from the fate of an entire generation. But in this scripture from Job, we learn that even a very ungodly person can be spared the fate that would be due him. God does not hear the prayers of sinners. But he does hear the prayers of the righteous for sinners. Hudson Taylor was known as the man who brought a thousand missionaries to China, and the man who brought many Chinese people to faith in Christ. He personally baptized fifty thousand Chinese believers. But the foundation for his extraordinaary success was his determination to move man, through God, by prayer alone.

"Father, give me a heart that reaches out to those whose lives are empty. The enormous spiritual vacuum in this country begs to be filled. You have created us to live in fellowship with you, and those who do not know you will be ever restless, as Augustine says, 'until they find their rest in you.' Please show me how to and bring them into a knowledge of who you are, and of the purpose you have for them."

Some rumble around town about a battle between two counties over some stolen yaks. Last night, I saw a bunch of people gathered in the street, and couldn't quite figure out what was going on. The story is that someone from one town stole some yaks from another village. The other village came and tried to get them back. They were refused, and this resulted in a battle between the two towns. It doesn't involved Langmusi directly, but there are several relationships locally that are influenced by the battle, so the local townspeople are all affected by it. Doesn't affect me much; I can still hike up the canyon every day. Horse trekking has been shut down for the time being, but I wasn't really in the mood for that anyway. I don't know...I guess if you are used to riding a horse by yourself, the idea of being led around just doesn't appeal to you. I did check on it, mainly because I was curious about the price, but the lady told me quite simply, "We don't have a horse big enough for you." Hmmmm.... well, the horses here are smaller, but I think she has less confidence in them than I do. Horses are pretty strong animals. Nevertheless, I wasn't disappointed, because, as I said, the boredom of being led around all day pretty much removes all the attraction the idea might have for me.

DAY SEVEN

"And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation." (II Corinthians 5:18)

I'll start with the bottom line. Anyone who really wants to be close to the heart of God, will have a heart to bring others closer to Him. Throughout the time I have been in China, I have tried to reach out to those who were somehow isolated or alone, and bring them into community. By this I mean, of course, the Christian community.

I remember before I came to China, I was involved once in a community bridge event put on by a local church. In preparation for this event, there was a presentation on sharing God's love by a guy who was a great fan of the "Four Spiritual Laws" booklet. He showed a video of how he presented this booklet to people he pulled off the street. I was astounded to see the way he sorta dragged people through this booklet. After the presentation, I went up and asked him if he did any followup to see how these people were doing in their new faith. He said, "If we took the time to check on everyone we talk to, we'd never get anything done." I tell this story, because the approach employed by this guy represents the extreme polar opposite of what I believe about how to share God's love with the people around me. I am not a scalp collector. The idea of sharing God's love with people who are lonely, and then leaving them in their loneliness is anathema to me. If I cannot manage to bring people into community with other Christians, I really don't count anything else I have done for them. But as strongly as I feel about this, I have to admit that it is often not easy.

This may seem like a strange thing to say in a populated country like China, but you might be surprised to discover how many people, especially young people I guess, don't seem to have a lot of friends. There are a lot of reasons for this. But the simplest way to explain it, is to say that Asian cultures tend to be characterized by a stricter sense of conformity than what you would expect in American culture. Because of this, young people who don't conform tend to stick out a lot more than they would in the States or in Europe. Some of them compensate by learning English, and focusing their lives and careers on working with foreigners. In cities like Beijing or Shanghai, this approach actually works quite well for many such independent minded Chinese young people. Nevertheless, sometimes they do tend to get isolated. I have tried during the time I have been in China, to bring these young people to church, and get them involved in the Christian family.

"Father, I pray that you will guide me as I try to show the way to those who have somehow lost their way in life. Oh, Father, give me a heart that is sensitive to those who are lonely and isolated. Please show me how to bring them into community."

DAY SIX

"Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the LORD: look unto the rock whence ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit whence ye are digged." (Isaiah 51:01)

Sitting here in the canyon, listening to the birds chirping, and gazing at the craggy rock formations glowing in the rising sun, I am reminded of the scripture that says, "Look to the rock from whence ye were hewn." What is meant by "the rock?" Some would call it Jesus, the "Rock of Ages." Some, I suppose would see it as a symbol of God. But the second verse makes it clear:

"Look unto Abraham your father, and unto Sarah that bare you: for I called him alone, and blessed him, and increased him." (Isaiah 51:02)

The rock is Abraham. At some point--if we really want to know God's purpose--we must all come to terms with our spiritual roots. If I were to do that in the most literal sense, I would be looking to the Lutheran Pietism of my background. There is a sense in which this exhortation could (and I suppose should) be applied that way. But sooner or later, we must all look at this exhortation literally. Either we are the seed of Abraham, or we are outside the fold. Salvation is for the chosen. Of course, we understand that we are the seed of Abraham by faith, and that this does not in any way subtract from the advantage of the Jew, as Paul says in Romans 3. But without getting into a lengthy theological discourse on the matter, there is a sense in which all of us must come to terms with our essential Jewishness. I first came to terms with this issue about 20 years ago, during a summer of prayer and reflection between school terms. I was reading a book called "The Chosen" by Chaim Potok. I guess I had always had some interest in the Jews, mainly, I suppose, because of my love for the Old Testament. But I was not prepared for the extent to which I would identify with the Hasidim. But that book began a process of discovery. The way we express this can be rather touchy. I got into a discussion with a Messianic Jew at Desert Springs church in North Phoenix, once. When I said something about the essential Jewishness of Christianity, and especially, about being a Jew in the spiritual sense, he became very agitated. "You are Goyim! How can you call yourself a Jew!" Perhaps we need to be careful how we express it, but I cannot back down from my position. Basically, without over complicating the issue, the position of Christians in the family of God is rooted in God's covenant with Abraham. "And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise." (Galatians 3:29)

"Father, please show me how to fully and properly understand who I am in Christ because of your promise to Abraham. I have no desire to go to Israel and stake my claim on earthly real estate. But I do live with the hope of the New Jerusalem. And I recognize that my place at the table is a direct fulfilment of your promise to Abraham. The Covenant. Thank-you, Father, for allowing me to be included in the promise you made to Abraham so many years ago. Give me an ever deeper and richer understanding of what this really means."

DAY FIVE

"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-2)

Yesterday, as I was coming out of the canyon, the Tibetan herdsmen invited me into their tent for breakfast. They were having the Tibetan food known as "tsampa." First they pour boiling hot water in a bowl. Then they put in a big glob of yak butter. Bright yellow with a touch of green. I didn't ask. Then they pour in a bunch of flour. Not sure what it is, but someone told me yesterday that it was barley. Then you have to stick your hand in that muck and mix it together until it becomes a ball of clay. I have seen it done, so I kinda knew what to do, but I was pretty clumsy. It actually tastes pretty good, but it is very filling. Definitely a high energy food.

Hiking up the canyon this morning with some friendly travelers from the north of Israel, I was thinking about Psalm 121. The King James says, "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help." It's a declarative sentence, implying the my help comes directly from the mountains. But the modern NRSV says, "I lift up my eyes to the hills--from where will my help come?" Definitely not the same. I told my friends that this is one of those situations where it would be really handy to be able to read Hebrew. But in a sense, it doesn't matter much, because the second verse clears it up:

"My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth." The same God who put the mountains in place is more than able to address the problems we have. So I do not get strength directly from the mountains, but I sure get a lot of encouragement from looking at them.

I have been thinking about mountains. You know, a lot of my thinking as a Christian has been focused on how to move mountains. But a question comes to my mind: "What if the mountain is very beautiful, and you don't want to move it? This week I have been really struck by the beauty of the mountains. It is difficult to look at the mountains without being reminded of the greatness of the God who put them in there. This, I believe, is what the psalm is referring to. We lift up our eyes to the hills to remind us that our help comes from the Lord.

"Father, please help me to keep my life in perspective. When I feel small and helpless, please remind me of your greatness. Thank-you for the wonders of nature, which you have given us to remind us of who you really are. We receive this message gladly, and we join with nature in declaring your glory."

DAY FOUR

"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." (Proverbs 4:23)

What does this mean? And how do we do it?

If man is created as a three-part being--body, soul, and spirit (pneuma, psyche, and soma), then how does the "heart" fit into the picture? The heart is the spirit and soul. The flesh is the body and soul in rebellion against the spirit. If the spirit is strong and healthy, and in open fellowship with God, then it will be able to keep the soul in subjection, which is the essence of a pure heart. But if the flesh is in control, this means that the body and soul are in rebellion against the spirit, and the heart, of course, is divided. This is the root of all kinds of problems in the life of a man or woman of faith. So the key to a pure heart is maintaining harmony between spirit and soul. Throughout the generations of time that men have struggled with this problem, there have, from time to time, been religious movements that tried to address the issue by suppressing the soul. Anything that might appeal to the soul would be denied, or suppressed, or repudiated. This error has often produced a world where the only people allowed to involved with the arts were those who had no concerns about purity of heart.

So if suppressing the soul is not the solution, how should we address this issue? I believe that we should encourage music and the arts, but I believe that they should be developed in a context of holiness. If people are completely dedicated to God, their art and their music will reflect that, because art is the expression of the soul. Bottom line: purity of heart is much more important than purity of art.

"Father, I pray that every portion of my life would be governed by my relationship with you. I do not live like these monks. My life is not all about religion. Day by day, I am involved with some things that do not seem to be very spiritual. But I really desire that all my life would be under the control of your Spirit. I do not want to live a life that has a "spiritual side" and a "secular side." Please show me how to be completely given to you. Take control of every corner of my existence."

DAY THREE

"The fear of the LORD is to hate evil." (Proverbs 8:13)

Sitting here in the canyon soaking in the heat of the morning sun. It's so beautiful! Yet, with all this morning comes the realization that we do still live in a world of sin. Injustice, greed, power, lust and malice. What is the response of a godly person to a world so full of iniquity? Our first response to evil must be to hate it. But in truth, it is actually our response to God before it is our response to evil itself. We hate evil because we fear God. Families, communities, and entire societies begin to crumble when people lose their contempt for evil. What is the defining characteristic of the man who has turned from God? "He abhorreth not evil." (Psalm 36:4) This is the crisis of modern society--we find evil distasteful, but we do not abhor it. Edmund Burke said, "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing."

"Father, give me a contempt for evil that transcends mere disdain for wrong doing. Lord I pray that I might be consumed by a passion for righteousness. It is a difficult thing, sometimes, Lord, because different people have different views of what constitutes righteousness. But I don't want to live by the expectations of others. I want to live my life to please you. To hate what you hate. To be vexed by the things that do violence to your holy will and purpose. "My soul is consumed with longing for your ordinances at all times." (Psalm 119:20) Lord if that is not always true of me, I really want it to be. Let me live my life so that those words are a true description of my heart toward you."

DAY TWO

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.(Proverbs 18:22)

It's not always easy to read these words. I fear marriage more than I fear death. But it's hard to avoid the subject, especially if you are a single person living in Asia. Sichuan Canyon, 7:30 am. Incredibly beautiful morning. The sky is pure blue. The sun is up, but I can't see it yet, because I am sitting in the canyon surrounded by jagged peaks. The tops of those peaks are glowing in the sun's rays, but I am sitting in the shadow and a little chilly... I'm back. I hiked further up the canyon to a spot in the sun. It is impossible to describe the peaceful serenity of this canyon. A few birds singing their morning songs, sheep bleating as they are herded to their grazing spot for the day, and shepherds calling to each other across the canyon. These sounds do not disturb but actually accentuate the serenity of this peaceful place.

But, again, as I contemplate the above mentioned scripture, I am puzzled. You know, it is actually quite easy to be a single person in China. Yet, there seems to be built into Asian culture, a belief that singleness is an unstable condition the only solution for which is marriage. It is much more difficult to be a single person in America. Yet in America, there is little, if any, pressure to get married. It's just assumed to be no-body's business.

In China, or perhaps I should say, in Asia, the issue cannot be completely avoided. People want to know. A kid came up to me in McDonald's and asked about my family. I told him I had three daughters, so he asked him about my wife. I told him I didn't have a wife. "How can you have a daughter without a wife?!" It's a fair question, of course. China is going through a lot of changes these days, but in matters of family, it's still pretty traditional. I have been in China for over three years, now, and I have never seen an unwed mother. Doubt if that kid has, either.

But it's more than just that, of course. After all, we are not created to live alone. Proverbs says that the man who lives alone rages against sound judgement. But what does this mean? Does this mean that if I'm not married, I have to have a roommate? I certainly don't think so, but the Bible does seem to indicate that we are not supposed to live in isolation. We are called to live and function in community. By community is not necessarily meant a communal lifestyle, but at least a life that includes regular interaction with others.

So while I would have to reject the notion that all people are supposed to be married, it is at least true that all people are supposed to live in community. God does call us apart for periods of time, but he does not really call people to be life long hermits. Even John the Baptist, who lived as a hermit for awhile before his public ministry, was called to a life of constant interaction with lots of lots of people. After all, he baptized the whole nation of Israel. But where would Israel be if John the Baptist had allowed his life to be molded and shaped by the pressure to get married and have a family. Or how different may have been the plight of the homeless of India if Mother Teresa had continued her job as a high school teacher in Eastern Europe?

"Father, please show me the balance. Help me to live my life to serve you. Lord, I pray that my decisions would be made with a view to your purpose--founded on what is good for your kingdom. Father, I cannot really say that I am lonely, because it is rather difficult to be lonely in a place like Beijing, but I do sometimes wonder if I am supposed to be continuing the single life. I pray that you would give me wisdom to know your ways. Please do not allow my need to get in the way of my ministry."

DAY ONE

"When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek." (Psalm 27:8)

Sitting here in the Sichuan Canyon just outside of Langmusi. Got in last night after a two-day trip from the village where Jessica teaches her summer school. Had a great time with those lovely rascals, and I plan to see them again on my way back to Lanzhou.

I have decided to commence a "prayer journey." Last night as I was hiking in the canyon and thinking about this, I began to ask myself what it is that I really want. The answer was not long in coming. In fact, it was in my heart before I asked the question. I want to seek His face. Why? Well, I could start by saying that I want to seek his face to get in touch with my calling. But Psalm 27:8 says, "When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek." So if you long to seek His face, it is because you have been called to do so. Seeking His face is itself a calling. I am called to seek His face. What does it mean to really walk with God? It is to walk in His ways. But we cannot know his ways unless we seek His face.

"Father God, I want to seek your face. I want to know you. I want to know and understand your ways. Lord God, I crave holiness. I crave righteousness. I want to know who you really are. Please show your face to me and cause me to walk in your ways. Amen."